Cool Tunes

Check it out, yo:

The 616 Marshall Mix

If you went to a certain Memphis nightclub in the early nineties, it sounded like this:

• Sisters of Mercy/This Corrosion
  
• DeeLite/Groove is in the Heart
  
• Red Hot Chili Peppers/Higher Ground
  
• Charlatans UK/The Only One I Know
  
• Siouxsie and the Banshees/Peek A Boo
  
• Peter Murphy/Cuts You Up
  
• L.A. Style/James Brown is Dead
  
• New Order/Bizarre Love Triangle
  
• Ministry/Everyday is Halloween
  
• Depeche Mode/Personal Jesus
  
• Rocky Horror/The Time Warp
  
• The Smiths/Panic
  
• The Cure/Just Like Heaven
  
• Lords of Acid/I Must Increase My Bust
  
• Soupdragons/I'm Free
  
• Nine Inch Nails/Head Like a Hole
  

Security Plans

John, talking to his mom:

"If a burglar breaks in our house, I'll jump up and kick him in the balls."

Later, to me:

"They're also called nuts, daddy."

Well, yeah. But where the hell did he pick up that talk? As long as we've been calling them anything, we've been calling them "testicles" and, alternately, "scrotum." Because it's funnier to hear a kid use the technical term for a body part. And when it's genitals, it's hilarious.

John makes wedding plans

"When I get married," John told me tonight, "I'll wear a black suit and a tie, and Reid will wear a very pretty dress."

"That sounds nice," I said, "can I come?"

John sighed. "No. It's just for kids. No grown-ups."

"Well, videotape it for me. I'd still like to see it."

"Okay."

Winning

When Smackie pulled up at the house this evening, James and Kieran and John and I were in the driveway, shooting fireworks. James and I were drinking beer. James waved Smackie away from the driveway so the paintjob on her car wouldn't get even more wrecked than it already is.

"You boys be careful," she said on her way in the door.

"Don't worry," I said, "drinking and fireworks: it's a winning combination!"

Later, with the boys in the backyard throwing water balloons at each other, James and I continued an ancient ritual of our people: lighting fireworks with lit cigarettes.

Impressionistic?

A picture John drew at school. The figure in the foreground is me (note the glasses and short hair). The figure in the background is John, kicking a soccer ball (note the curly hair).

"And what are the big round things?" I asked John.

"Buttons."

"On our shirts?"

"Yeah."

This is, to my knowledge, John's first representational drawing of human beings. Good job, kid!

John talks about the ladies, Part 2

"Someday, I want to get married," John told me before bed tonight.

"That's good, son," I said, "but you've got to find the right girl first. Do you have any prospects?"

"Yeah," he said, "I'm gonna marry Reid."

"Reid?" I asked, "is that a girl?"

"Yeah."

"Well, is she pretty?"

"Yeah. She wears lots of pretty dresses."

"That's a good start, kid."

John talks about the ladies, Part 1

After feeding the koi at the Botanic Gardens and an early dinner at Huey's, John and I went to Home Depot.

Walking into the store in front of us was a pretty woman: long hair, little sundress, big boobs, long legs, high heels.

"Oh, daddy," John said wistfully.

"Yeah, son?"

"I like her."

"I like her too, son. She seems nice."