Monday, October 29, 2007


Sonya and I all dressy-fied for the holiday:

Monday, October 22, 2007

Couple Survey!

As a rule, I despise the endless "surveys" and "quizzes" that constantly pop up on people's blogs. I liked this one, though, which I got from Poppy Brite.

  1. Who eats more?

    Me, totally me. Sonya has always pecked and nibbled, though she does snack more than me. Now that I'm on the phen, though, I'm kind of a nibbler and (wait for it) a pecker, too. Still me, though. Part of my problem is I still want to eat like I'm a teenager. And I can do it, too. I just put on weight like someone in their thirties.

  2. Who said "I love you" first?

    Me. I'm a romantic that way. If I feel it, it pops right out.

  3. Who is the morning person?

    Me, but that's by default. I wake up easier, and John usually comes to my side of the bed first if Sonya and I are both still asleep. And I get up first on weekdays to get ready.

  4. Who sings better?

    No one. Neither one of us is gifted that way. We'll both sing, sure, but nobody is any good.

  5. Who’s older?

    Sonya, by six months or so. Older women are hot.

  6. Who’s smarter?

    It depends on what you're asking. I read all the time and know tons of obscure stuff. But Sonya understands people and planning and dealing with things better than I ever will. We're both pretty bright, though. I like to think we complement each other.

  7. Whose temper is worse?

    Sonya's. She just lets it loose and it's like a rifle-shot. I tend to bottle things up and erupt pretty spectacularly, which can be awful. But if you're going to piss someone off, don't let it be Sonya. She's going to get you right then. You piss me off and then walk away and you'll probably never even know I was mad.

  8. Who does the laundry?

    Me, usually. Though Sonya doesn't hesitate to if it needs to be done.

  9. Who does the dishes?

    I load the dishwasher and will, eventually, wash anything that needs to be handwashed. This is an agreement that stretches back to when we first got married. It's fair, though. Sonya cleans the bathrooms, and I hate to do that more than anything.

  10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?

    Sonya. The first night we slept together (Labor Day weekend 1990, I believe) I tried sleeping on the right and we both slept like crap. The next night I switched to the left side and that's where I've been since.

  11. Whose feet are bigger?

    Mine, by far. Sonya has tiny, pretty little feet.

  12. Whose hair is longer?


  13. Who’s better with the computer?

    We're both good with a computer! Neither one of us is a big-time gearhead, but we can both make a computer do whatever we need it to do.

  14. Do you have pets?

    Yes. Roxy is a 13 year-old chihuahua-terrier mix from the West Memphis Animal Shelter.

  15. Who pays the bills?

    Well, the money goes into one account, right? But I actually sit down and send the money to the appropriate places.

  16. Who cooks dinner?

    We both do. Dinner isn't a big thing with us. Sonya is pretty busy and I don't usually want anything more elaborate than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But one or the other of us will make John's dinner, sit down with him, and eat our own food, too.

  17. Who drives when you are together?

    Depends on where we're going and which car we're in. If we're just running around in town I usually drive my car and Sonya drives hers. On longer trips we both would rather drive than ride, so we take turns.

  18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?

    Who cares? It all comes from the same account.

  19. Who’s the most stubborn?

    Sonya. If John is stubborn I tell him "boy, you're hard-headed like your mother." I can be, but Sonya is far better at it.

  20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong?

    Me, if anybody. We're more likely to sit down and say "this is a problem. Let's discuss it." Admissions of guilt are less important than working on the underlying issue.

  21. Whose family do you see more?

    Mine. I usually take John to see my mother and grandmother every weekend and my sister is our go-to babysitter.

  22. Who named your pet?

    I think Sonya came up with it. She said "she looks like a Roxy." And she was right.

  23. Who kissed who first?

    I kissed Sonya first. I was dropping off something at her house and she was upset about something, so it seemed like a good time to kiss her. I think I was right.

  24. Who asked who out?

    Hmmm...she came by and saw me several times while I was working at Baskin Robbins my senior year of high school. The first time we actually went to do anything together (December 30, 1989) Sonya and her friend Staci (who I knew through another friend of mine) and I went running around together, then we went to my house to watch Rock and Rock High School. Honestly, I can't remember the first thing we did that was just me and Sonya. Probably we watched a movie or something. And made out.

  25. Who’s more sensitive?

    That depends, too. I'm better at letting things go, but Sonya is never bothered by some things in the first place.

  26. Who’s taller?

    I am, by a couple of inches.

  27. Who has more friends?

    Sonya. People like her as soon as they meet her, usually. I think I make horrible first impressions on people and you really need to get to know me first before you can realize how awesome I am. Sonya's awesomeness is right out front for everyone to see.

  28. Who has more siblings?

    I do. Sonya has one sister; I have seven half-siblings, but I grew up with my mom's other children (Dawne, Julie and Jack) and I usually forget that we're all halfsies. We're very tight.

  29. Who wears the pants in the relationship?

    Everybody wears pants. Our marriage is a partnership of equals. Sonya or I might take the lead in a specific scenario - whoever is better qualified to be in charge usually is - but we work together.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


I went with a coworker to the diet clinic today. She is tall and slim, but she wants to lose a few pounds in the next month.

They gave her the drugs!

And if they gave them to her, they'll give them to anybody. Anorexics and speed-freak teenagers, the line starts over there.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Currently listening... Bootie from the DNA Lounge (available for listening for two weeks!) and I'm thinking, aw, how cute! French people think they can rap like black Americans. That's so sweet. They're so adorable when they're all European like that.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

We're here, etc...

Poppy Brite posted today that it's National Coming-Out Day (who knew? I have such trouble keeping up with the holidays.) and put up a link to her excellent essay, Enough Rope.

Now, normally I'm interested in the sexuality of exactly two people on the planet: me and the wife. Everyone else? Do whatever you like. I don't care. And I honestly don't give it much thought. It's none of my concern.

But I've always thought it's got to be a solid gold bitch to be a transgender-type. I mean, if (back in the nineties) my hair didn't look right? I felt weird and sheepish and uncomfortable. If a shirt doesn't fit me right? I'm out-of-sorts and crabby all day. Now, these people, they don't feel right in their bodies. Imagine that shit. Imagine feeling like that. I don't like the gender of the body I'm in; it's all wrong for me.

That must be like a fucking horror movie. One of the most basic things in your life is wrong. I can't even get my head around it. The occasional experimentation with eyeliner notwithstanding, I'm very, very comfortable as a guy, and I read something like this and I'm happy to be okay with the way I am. And I'm glad Poppy has found a good place (and a good person) to live her life with; she's one of my favorite reads.

Some of us are born lucky, I suppose. And every day as I get older and see more of how life treats everyone I can't help but think that I'm one of the lucky ones.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


You know what's neat? That you can be with someone for the better part of twenty years and still learn something new about them.

See, I made an offhand comment yesterday about something - Romanian folk songs, let's say* - and it turns out Sonya loves Romanian folk songs! She's dying to get some albums! And guess what? I like Romanian folk songs, too! I've always wanted to get more into Romanian folk songs, but I was worried about what the wife would think!

So not only did I learn something, but now we get to explore the fascinating world of Romanian folk songs together. Pretty cool, huh?

* And it's totally not Romanian folk songs. We're not that weird. But what it is is none of your goddamn business, bud.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Big Boy

Or getting there, at least.

John used to go to sleep by himself. When he was in a crib, we'd just put him in and boom, out. Then, when he got a toddler bed and a whole room to explore, I had to go lay down with him for a few minutes. Then he'd go to sleep.

(And he didn't like his toddler bed, either. We'd usually lay down on the floor, and then I'd come back later and put John in bed. And he'd be back on the floor the next day.)

But he sleeps good in the big bed he sleeps in now! Unfortunately, when he first got it I got in the habit of laying down with him until he went to sleep. Hell, I'd usually go to sleep, too. But that meant my day ended at nine-thirty or thereabouts.

So! Sonya and I have played the Big Boy card. As in, "you're getting to be a big boy, you'll be four next month, you need to go to sleep by yourself." And it's working. I go in there for fifteen minutes, then I leave.

Do I get called back four or five times? Yes. Do I eventually have to say "I'm not coming back in here?" Yes.

[Last night, on my fourth or fifth return trip, John actually looked at me and said "you're not coming back in here again?" I guess I was showing my I've-Had-It face.]

But then he goes on to sleep (or quiet play, at least) and Sonya and I get to hang out on the couch for a little while and have grown-up talk. And brother, that's worth fifty trips to check on the kid.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Football at Alex's

Went to Alex's Saturday night to watch the Florida/LSU game with James and Smackie. Good times!

Before they got there a couple of cops came in and sat in the booth behind me. They requested that the Ohio State game go up on one of the big screens.

"I got too much money ridin' on this game to miss it," the bigger of the two cops told me.

Later, he got a phone call. "Naw, man," he said into the phone, "I can't worry about that right now. I got to watch this game."

A little while later three girls walked in the front door. If any one of them was twenty I'll eat my hat. They looked around...saw the cops...and turned right around and left.

General laughter ensued.

"Far as I'm concerned, I'm off duty," the big cop said with a shrug, "I wudn't gonna say nothin' to 'em."

Friday, October 05, 2007

Music Week! Day 5

And, to find out more about English music today, give Radio 1 a try. They play a goodly bit of crap, and some of the DJs love the sounds of their own voice too much, but I usually hear some interesting new stuff. The hip hop, especially, is ahead of the curve. And they're making better straight-up pop than America can even dream about.

So tired! Full of ennui! Feeling lazy and heavy and nod-ish. I would say it was too much heroin, but I'm not dead, so it obviously wasn't too much.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Music Week! Day 4

Or, more accurately, "Music Week featuring English music from the eighties and nineties that Harold likes."

Can't help it, people. This is what's working for me this week.

Today's tune: Catherine Wheel, Black Metallic

Another tune I missed back in the nineties. But it's good and creepy and dark. It's got some old-fashioned menace to it. When I get around to making a movie this will play over the sad, inconclusive ending as the credits roll.

And, as you'll see in the link above to the song, some other blogger has already done the heavy lifting for me! Lyrics, MP3, and video. Well done, dude!

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Music Week! Day 3

Another song I'm hung up on right now: Images of Heaven, Peter Godwin

How did I miss this one? I like the new wave synth pop as much as the next guy. But this? This is like the fucking platonic ideal of a new wave synth pop song! Fuck you, Planet Earth! Eat it, Gary Numan's Cars! This tune, dude, it gels your hair and transports you to London, circa 1982. And puts you in a fetching puffy shirt, too.

I've heard this on the New Wave City webcasts from the DNA Lounge in the past few months. It's so freaking good. Again: how did I miss this one? Did you know about it?

And yes, I know the the video above is some yahoo's pictures of pictures set to the music. It's the best I could find on the interwebs. A travesty, I tell you!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Music Week! Day 2

Songs I rocked out to whilst getting ready this morning: Blur, Country House and Charmless Man

He's got morning glory, life's a different story

Everything going jackanory, in touch with his own mortality

He's reading Balzac, knocking back prozac

It's a helping hand that makes you feel wonderfully bland...

Charmless Man, in particular, is just such awesome pop music. Hooky buzzsaw guitars and a "na na na na na" chorus.

Additional Music Week content: I don't get Radiohead. I never have. I mean, Creep was pretty good, if ultimately disposable, and that song about the plastic trees is fine in a nineties kind of way...but otherwise? I don't get it. And people I like and respect and who have opinions that I value and all that really, really love this band. And to me, that's like saying your favorite band is Throbbing Gristle or Einstuerzende Neubauten. Yeah, they're interesting. But are they listenable? Can you put it on in the car when you're heading out on a spring day for some serious interstate driving? But maybe I'm just exposing my own ignorance here.

Addendum: In the interest of giving the opposing party equal time, check out the comments for a spirited Radiohead defense from Trish, my landlord here at Hey Trish! Love you! Mean it! Kisses!

And Also: Damon Albarn is a good-looking Englishman in the video for Country House, isn't he? I'd make out with him a little bit. Just over the clothes stuff, though. I'm not a slut.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Music Week! Day 1

Song I'm currently hung up on: Arctic Monkeys, Fluorescent Adolescent

You used to get it in your fishnets

Now you only get it in your night dress

Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness

Landed in a very common crisis...