Watching T.V.

The other night we were surfing around the music video channels in the upper register of our digital cable service. Some song came on - forgettable music, forgettable dude singing it.

Finally, Sonya had to ask.

"Who is this douchebag?"

And I laughed and laughed. I'm lucky to be married to a woman brave enough to call a douchebag a douchebag.

Then, on Classic VH1 we saw a very old Journey video. Steve Perry was so young and pretty and his hair was as beautiful as a girl's...but the rest of the band, man! They were ugly enough to peel fucking paint. I guess they invested all their primping energy into Steve's hair.

And last night we were watching the news and they had the Canal Street Brothel Madam on (summary: Last summer? Summer before? Anyway, recently there was a whorehouse on Canal Street. Apparently everyone went there. Then they got busted. It was a big story.) and she's written a book! She names names!

"What I found was that a lot of men like to wear women's underwear..." she said.

"Yes, yes," I said, "men, panties, whatever. Who? Who likes to wear the underwear?"

She mentioned businessmen, politicians and sports figures.

My guesses: Copeland, Nagin, Horn.

"I like her," Sonya said at the end of the interview.

"Me too," I said, "she'd be fun to hang out with."

"The book will be out next year," Norman Robinson told us. Yes! Best New Orleans gossip ever!

Post-Election

So it looks like it's all over and Bush gets another four years. I'm a little disappointed, but not really surprised. I certainly didn't vote for Bush but Kerry has always had the air of loser about him to me, so I never got too excited about him. Except for a little while yesterday afternoon. But I got over it.

My rationale: when Clinton was president I just kept getting better jobs and making more money. Once Bush was in office I got laid off and had to work at Tulane for a fraction of what I used to make. No doubt by 2008 I'll be a freelance shepherd, wandering from meadow to meadow trying to pick up a little work.

But it's all water under the bridge. I've always maintained that you vote for the candidates who worry your conscience the least, and then you try and forget about who you voted for until the next election. Politics is a wonderful spectator sport, but if you give it too much it will break your heart.

So! In the horse-race spirit of it all, consider this: Dick Cheney has said more than once that he doesn't want to be president and won't run in 2008. That means both parties will have to come up with a brand-new, non-incumbent, non-vice president for the next election. When was the last time that happened? 1968? Anyway, that's where the next big story is! Who's going to be in the running for that? Giuliani? McCain? Edwards? Clinton? That one's going to be a hoot.

More Words

So this Baby Jessica thing has confirmed my status as Goddamned Internet Phenomenon, right? Just 'cause some words were on this page.

So, in the interest of misdirecting more people here - and therefore making myself more popular - here are more interesting words!

• Poll results
  
• Embargo exit polls
  
• Voting numbers
  
• Absentee
  
• Provisional ballot
  

Welcome, eaters of the sweet, sweet omelet of democracy! Here you will find amusing anecdotes and cute pictures of my kid. Not exactly the political wonkery you were looking for, but I think you'll be just fine.

I Love Baby Jessica

Over a hundred hits today. What gives? Where are you people coming from? Is it all about Baby Jessica? Listen, for reals, yo: I don't know anything about Baby Jessica. Nothing.

The irony is delicious and piping hot! I originally talked about Baby Jessica to say that the whole brouhaha passed me by the first time. I only learned about Baby Jessica after the fact. And now I am the Internet's Foremost Authority on Baby Jessica.

But wait! Sonya points out (quite wisely, I might add) that they pulled some kid out of a well today in Alabama. Perhaps people are searching for down-a-well-related information and since Baby Jessica is the Joey Ramone of kids who have fallen down wells (she did it first, and is famous for it) you're all ending up here.

How about that? The internet - it just doesn't get it.

So let's review: I don't know anything about Baby Jessica. Or the kid in Alabama. I am, however, most entertaining and quite good-looking. You should make me a regular stop!

Unrelated: Here is John in his pirate costume. He wasn't too cool with the hat, though, and the eye patch was a total non-starter. He's cute, though.