01/09/2000
Stigmata Superstar

The sickness seems to be drawing to a close. It started Monday; it's seven days later. Ladies and gentlemen, the common cold.

I'm trying to remember Thursday... Oh yeah! Deb Chen was back on ER. And she still annoys me.

Friday I was on Covington Pike with a couple of coworkers. If you're not here in Memphis, you might not know that the car salesmen on Covington Pike (where there are many, many car lots) are on customers like flies on dogshit. The only way to do any casual browsing is to have one person drive the car while the other person jumps out and looks at prices, then gets back in the car before the salemen can arrive.

We did this at several places; the salesmen were always on their way when we'd pull out of the lot. For your information, a new Volkswagen Jetta (black, V6, automatic) costs $22,000. I could probably talk them down a bit, though. If I take this headhunter job (by that I mean the job offered by headhunters, not a job as a headhunter) it will mean a daily commute, and I'll by-god trade the truck in for something.

So Friday night the plan was to go get some pancakes at the IHOP and then go see Magnolia. James, though, ended up working late. This meant we'd have to go see the eleven o'clock showing which meant we wouldn't get home until ten or so the next morning, since the movie's so damned long. I might add service at the IHOP wasn't too swift, either, but the pancakes were tasty. We decided to rent movies instead, but even that fell through as we made a late-night trip to Wherehouse, spent money and went to bed.

Funny moment, though. We drove by Fazoli's, which is a fast-food Italian joint. We all agreed that the entire concept is gross, especially their un-natural fusing of spaghetti and lasagna to make "las-ghetti."

"Now," I announced, "they've combined macaroni and manicotti to make manironi!"

Manironi. Manironi.

Say it with me, now: manironi.

I like that word.




Yesterday was pretty uneventful. I watched football, though! That was fun! I'm doing the fantasy football thing during the playoffs, and I had a couple of key players from Tennessee, so the miracle win was a happy moment in the Williams house.

We got some new dog toys for Roxy, too. She is sadly lacking in toys, and sometimes I feel guilty about that until I remember that she's a dog and doesn't understand the whole concept of material possessions. But her favorite toy is the Stuffy Guy and she has recently gutted the most recent one, making him a rather flacid Stuffless Guy. We replaced the Stuffy Guy with a new, fuzzier, larger Stuffy Guy and we got her a moo-cow that goes "Moo. Moo. Moo." when she bites it just so. The Stuffy Guy she likes, of course. The cow enrages her. She's sleeping off her last battle with the cow right now.




We got some more DVDs today: American Pie and The Big Easy. American Pie because it's so damned funny (and you Buffy fans out there will love Willow in this) and The Big Easy 'cause it's really good and Ellen Barkin is totally sexy.

Concerning American Pie, though, I have to ask the question The Onion asked earlier this year: since Hollywood always copies its own successes, does this mean we'll see a whole slate of pastry-fucking movies next summer?




We were driving by the Appletree (Memphis' cheap movie theater) and, since they had so many movies squeezed on the marquee, they were advertising

STIGMATA SUPERSTAR

"She puts her hands up in the air," Sonya observed, mimicking the familiar Mary Catherine Gallagher pose, "and then they start to bleed."





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