25 April 2002


Wm. Stephen Humphrey's odds on who's going to die on Buffy, taken from the latest edition of (our regular Thursday source) The Stranger:

"BUFFY--Odds: 30 to 1. C'mon! Even though her acting this season has been the worst ever, there's no freaking way they are gonna kill her off twice in a row. Fuggeddaboutit.

"WILLOW--Odds: 15 to 1. Regular viewers know that Willow has been a black magic junkie this season, so killing her off might grant some redemption... but c'mon! She's a lesbian! That'd be like killing off Will and Grace!

"XANDER--Odds: 18 to 1. No way. Though Xander totally has that annoying Matthew "Friends" Perry thing going on, he's still the most likable character. Besides, you don't kill somebody just because he got fat.

"SPIKE--Odds: 10 to 1. While Spike's likeability factor has plummeted this season (especially after he boned Buffy in the alley behind the burger joint--EWWWW!), there's simply no point in killing someone who's already dead. I suppose he could do something "heroic" and die, but that would be bullshit, wouldn't it? Nope, he's a creep, which means he will live to bone another day.

"ANYA--Odds: Even. Okay, I'm changing my mind. The odds are 3 to 2. Since being dumped on the altar by Xander, she's got to either kill him or be killed. There ain't no other choice. On the other hand... how could anyone bump off a piece of booty so goddam FOINE?!?

"TARA--Odds: Even. Hoo-boy. It may be "verboten" to kill off lesbians, but this one is a drip, drip, DRIP. So long to bad rubbish.

"DAWN--Odds: Even. Though it makes sense that Buffy's sister would be just as bad of an actress, if I hear her scream or slam her bedroom door one more time, I'll send her off to the fawking pearly gates myself!!"

And if you just can't wait to find out what's going to happen on Buffy you should check out Beth's forum. Very little goes uncovered there.