Effluvia

Just a question: Have any of my readers bribed someone before? Do you have any tips on doing it smoothly?

I'm just asking.

Journals

• Bad Hair Days
• Plaintive Wail
• Humidity and Hebephrenia
• Randomly Ever After
• U9
• Fukushu
• Nature of life...
• DNA Sequencing

So I went to Washington for a work-related class, right? Yesterday, I get an e-mail that says I have to turn in an expense report as soon as possible.

"Naw, it's cool," I say to myself. "I came out of that trip, like, twenty bucks ahead. I don't need to fill out an expense report."

That's where I was wrong. Turns out that even though my employer did their own math and then cut me a check for what they thought I'd need I have to fill out an expense report afterwards or they want the money back.

"But the money's gone," I told my former boss who has since left the company.

"It doesn't matter," she explained, "they'll take it out of your paycheck."

So, with much grumbling and bad humor on my part I hunted down the receipts from the trip and sat down before lunch today to fill out the report.

Hah! After figuring up everything - using their numbers, I might add - it seems that the company owes me seventeen bucks. And change.

See? Now I wasn't gonna say anything but noooooooooo...they had to have their precious paperwork. And now they owe me money. You shouldn't start anything you can't finish, bee-otch. God, but I feel just like John Carter, M.D. How dare these people question my actions?

In other news, Sonya's sister and brother in-law are coming down for a visit this weekend. I know I've told you before how different Sonya is from her sister: Sonya is the outgoing, free-spirited, liberal-minded crazy one while her sister is quiet, a bit of a homebody and quite conservative. They don't even look alike; Sonya gets her looks from her dad's side of the family, while her sister looks just like their mother.

Her and her husband are good people, but I don't think they're the stereotypical New Orleans tourists. As far as I know they don't drink, they don't run wild and stay up late and I'm not sure if the historical aspects of the town interest them. But the sister is interested in shopping and the brother in-law wants to go to the Saints game, and we can do those things.

The Wife and I are fun people; fun will be had regardless.

Two interesting listings I saw in the phone book the other day:

International Black Brain Banc: This may be the place Igor broke in to in Young Frankenstein.

Parents Anonymous: For those addicted to having kids, I guess.

"Hi. My name is Tom. I have six year-old fraternal twins and a nine month-old baby boy."

"Hi, Tom."