Effluvia

Nah. I don't have any links. There really isn't anything interesting on the internet, anyway.




Journals






Siobhanorama!

Edamame? I honestly have no clue what this is.





10/15/2000
Sheriff

I was driving home this afternoon, windows down, Hole's Celebrity Skin (a sunny-day-driving album if ever there was one) on the CD player, and I just had to congratulate myself on my wisdom and good fortune to be living in the most fun-loving city in America, where no tree has dared show an odd-colored leaf yet because it hasn't been cold and it's the middle of October. Even the palm trees still look healthy and tropical.

And then I went to the grocery store and they were giving away free wine samples. Damn, I love this town.

While we're talking about New Orleans, I gotta tell you that I am still the best online journal-type guy in the city in which I reside. I'm two for two, people. As a matter of fact, I'll give you a little challenge: if you can find a better New Orleans-based journal I'll give you a whole dollar. Just send the address along to me here at ashtrayheart1@home.com and I'll have a look at it. Of course, I'll be judging whether it's better than mine or not, but I can be surprisingly impartial when necessary.

And while I'm on that subject...figuring out that I do write the best journal in town required me to look at the other online diaries here in New Orleans. Now, I'm not going to name names or anything here, but I've got one thing to tell some of you: if you don't like New Orleans you need to leave. Just go. Moving is easy and it can be fun, and if some of you people despise this town the way you say then you need to to get right the fuck out. Nobody wants to listen to you bitch. Just go.

I say this with all the conviction of someone who moved here willingly and carefully considered all the pros and cons of becoming a resident of New Orleans.. Kids, all cities have things wrong with them; New York is crowded, Boston is cold, Chicago is windy, San Francisco and Seattle are expensive, L.A. is glitteringly fake, they just finished construction on Atlanta last week and Miami is a driver's nightmare. And, yes, New Orleans is a little behind the times, a bit removed from the outside world, prone to its own brand of infighting, corruption and inbreeding. Deal with it. There's no other place like it in America. And if you don't like that, then you need to move to Canada or Cuba or some other place with weird television and socialized medicine. You goddamned communists.




See, I'm not afraid of making anyone mad with what I just wrote, 'cause I don't like people. Are you gonna cry? Are you gonna tell all your friends not to talk to me? Good. I don't like you and I don't like your friends. Fuck ya. I assure you your opinion means nothing to me.




Oh my...you know, if you don't read New Orleans-based online journals (and who could blame you? They are a collective grease trap, and it you've ever worked in the fast food industry you know how horrid a grease trap can be. To borrow a phrase from Keyshawn Johnson: they are flashlights, while I am a star) all of the above after I get through talking about drinking wine in the grocery store must be very boring for you.




Did I mention that I've practically quit smoking? It's true! I'd gone a week or so without one until last Saturday, when I had a few at the Audobon. I didn't have any this past week, either; I had about half of one last night while Sonya and I were playing Scrabble, but I had to put it out. It hurt my throat.

Not that I've gotten on anything like a regular running schedule, though. And I'm having my second tallboy of the evening. But, you know, you can only do away with so many bad habits and take up so many good ones at the same time. I don't want to rupture anything.




Friday night? Cooked some burgers on the grill. Saturday? Breakfast at Joey K's, followed by shopping on Magazine Street. Sonya got some big black angel wings at a costume shop. The basic plan for Halloween, according to The Wife, is to go out and "be freaky." I like this plan.

Then we came hame and went into a cleaning frenzy. This was motivated by the boxes that were still sitting around our bedroom, two and a half months after we moved in. In our defense, these boxes were winter clothes, for the most part, and there was no place to put them. Unfortunately, these boxes were driving Sonya fucking insane. So we loaded up several boxes and bags to take to the Goodwill and the bedroom is much less cluttered than it was before. A good thing.

Then we played Trivial Pursuit and Scrabble for the rest of the evening. This is more fun than you think.




The Family (excluding Roxy) went to the Saints game today. What fun! Sonya nearly had a fit of vertigo at the last game when we sat near the top of the Superdome, so for today's game I got tickets on the filed level in the north end zone. I felt like I contributed more to the game there, fan-wise.

And this was the first game I went to at the Superdome where the Saints actually won. Man, that was totally fun. The Saints led throughout the game but the lead was never convincing; going into the fourth quarter the score was 10-6, and it seemed like Carolina could surge ahead at any moment. Finally, though, Ricky Williams punched it in for his second touchdown of the day and the crowd jumped to its feet and started partying. Then Jeff Blake connected with Joe Horn for another TD and everyone went fucking nuts. Afterwards all the signs in the Superdome were flashing "SAINTS WIN!" It was fantastic.

In the car, on Poydras after the game, the guy in the truck in front of us backed up to let a cab get around him. Then he left his truck in reverse, his brake lights shining. Sonya and I tensed up while I sat with both hands on the horn. I knew the light was going to turn green and he was going to floor it and back right up into my beloved Eclipse.

He didn't, though. THe light turned green and he shifted out of reverse and drove away. Good.




Sonya was reading the paper earlier and had this to say when she saw an ad looking for deputy sheriffs:

"I make more than a deputy sheriff and I don't even put my life on the line."




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