Effluvia

They sold me my G3, and worked on it the other day. Obviously they have no time for web design.

Houses. Lots of houses.

Bygone Days
Uncensored!

125 YEARS AGO
May 3, 1875

The Memphis Appeal editor last night was presented with a basket of strawberries by J. E. Spivan, grown on his Waverly Hall fruit farm, located in Memphis on Kerr Avenue.

Needless to say the Ladies of Grace Church are delighted.

Siobhanorama

The end of the semester has Siobhan all fucked up. I'm glad I'm not a college student anymore.

Sorry about the delay, folks. Friday's entry is in the archives already. We had some unscheduled computer maintenance done Monday; your regularly scheduled programming will recommence now.

We looked at houses Friday night with Biff. Nothing terribly impressive, though one house did have a big black pig in the back yard. I opened the back door and the pig looked up from its rooting and headed for the me, wagging its curly tail and oinking happily. I shut the door. I don't know if the people let the pig in the house or not, and I would have hated to have to catch a pig in a stranger's house. After the house hunting we retired to the Public Eye for barbecue and to discuss our strategy for the next day.

Saturday I got up bright and early to ride with my mom and grandmother out to Poinsett Lake State Park in scenic northeastern Arkansas for a family reunion. It was good family, mainly, my grandmother, her sister, and all their kids and grandkids. There was, however, a guest appearance by the Harelip Family, whom I believe I wrote about last year. Huntin' Woman did not make it to this reunion; I was told by my grandmother afterward that she had to "move to Mississippi" due to legal problems. In my family, this means there is a warrant out for you in Arkansas - my brother didn't come home for several years because of this. It's a kind of Redneck Exile.

The Harelip Family, though, was extra-special this year. Last year there were only two of them. This year there were FIVE members, and all of them appeared to have been worked on by the same ungifted (and possibly unlicensed) plastic surgeon. And they talked! Constantly! Like they didn't know how goofy they sounded!

"Neff neff neff neffneff neff?"

"Neffneff neff."

"Neffyneff neff neff neff?"

"Neff neffyneff neff!"

As a bonus, one member of the Harelip Family wore (I kid you not) a tight black-yellow-and-puprle buttondown short-sleeved shirt with a black leather biker's cap (complete with chain over the bill) and a long, greasy ponytail.

Did I mention that the Harelip Family only had twelve teeth between the five of them? It's true! And they had a kid with them, a 14 year-old girl who never took her headphones off, kicked at the air randomly and made "pchew! pchew!" noises as she kicked.

My mother and grandmother were talking on the way back.

"Did their father have a venereal disease at some point?" my mother asked, "that could have made those kids that way."

"I think so," my grandmother said, "though maybe their parents were related."

That would be my family. I can say whatever I like about them.

Saturday afternoon was spent with Biff, looking at houses spread out all across midtown. We spent a lot of time in the car, and it's always fun to look in other people's closets. No really great houses, though.

Saturday night we went to Ben's inaugural party at his new house. Sonya and I weren't in much of a party mood, though, being much preoccupied with house-buying. We visited some with our friend Donna, who was driving a flashy yellow Saturn loaner while the dealership tried to locate one in her preferred color. We hung out on the porch with a few other people and talked car-buying.

I don't remember much about Sunday, though we did find another house that we liked. And I looked at a house yesterday, which Sonya looked at today...

How incredibly boring. I have nothing to say that isn't house-related. But that, basically, is what we've been working on lately. I think it deserves its own section for the duration. If the mention of house-buying makes your eyes glaze with boredom you can just stop from now on when you reach the following header. Okay?

HouseHunt 2000

Here's where we find ourselves: I love two houses on Oliver in Cooper-Young. Sonya is concerned with the safety of the neighborhood. She probably has a point, though I don't think it's as big a deal as she thinks it is. Unfortunately, there may not be anything else in all of midtown that is both in our price rance and reasonably safe. This puts us at odds with each other and unhappy with the market at the moment. I'm afraid we're in this for the long haul - we're just going to have to wait for something to come available.