"Showbiz was also the cause of today's other miracle tumble, which transpired during tonight's debut episode of American Idol, a Star Search for the new millennium, in which real live wannabes audition for real live has-beens. Sadly, Last Days missed tonight's program, but we received no less than seven calls from friends around the country reporting the mind-blowing segment featuring the beautiful Texas girl who blew away the judges with her gigantic voice. 'She was tremendous,' gushed our dear friend Mindy. But as the triumphant young songstress rushed forward to shake the hand of Paula Abdul, her legs shot out from under her, her feet flew into the air, and she landed flat on her back on the floor. 'It was,' said Mindy, 'the greatest thing I've ever seen.'"