"I was at this bar in Jonesboro, right? And I was with some friends, and I was hittin' on this chick. My friends got ready to go, and this chick said it was cool, she'd give me a ride home. So I told my buddies I was gonna party some more and they left.
"As soon as they were gone the chick told me that she didn't drive, but we could take a cab. I'm like, 'aw, shit.' And she start's hitting on some other guy. So I start hitting on this other chick, but then the first chick says, 'okay, okay. I'm ready to go.'
"So we take a cab back to her house - and I pay for the cab, too. We get to her house and I tell her that I've got to be somewhere at nine the next morning. She says that's cool; she's got to be at work at nine. We start making out, but she won't let me bang her and we're both really drunk, so eventually we both pass out on the couch.
"The next morning I wake up to go pee. I come back to the couch and I realize this chick has pissed herself. I went and got in her bed. She came in there with me after a while, and I noticed she'd changed clothes.
"About eight-thirty I started trying to wake her up - I needed a ride and she had to go to work. She wouldn't get up! After nine her boss started calling her, leaving messages that the place was open and she needed to be at work.
"'Hey, chick,' I said, 'you're gonna get fired if you don't get up.' She still wouldn't get up. I went to call a friend of mine to come pick me up when I realized I didn't know where I was. I looked around until I found a phone bill with an address on it, then called my friend to come pick me up. As I was walking out the door I saw chick's purse - it had ten bucks in it. I figured, 'cab fare.' And there was this puppet that she had, and I liked it, so I took that too. Because she was a bitch."