22 February 2002


There's a house down the street from where I live. I think it's where the homeless people stay.

There's between five and ten of them that live there. A couple are female. One gigantic harridan has horrendous screaming fights out in the front yard. These cause Roxy and I to scurry by as quickly as possible. No need to get involved, right?

And I don't think they're squatters, either. I think a group of homeless people got together and said, "you know, this livin' on the street shit sucks. Why don't we get a place with, you know, a roof and everything?"

So they did.

But even though they've joined the ranks of the homeful they can't seem to shed their hobo ways. They sit out on the porch or in the front yard for hours at a stretch, wearing dozens of layers of clothes and drinking out of paper bags. Occasionally, they mutter at passers by. I suppose, since they have a house now, they feel they shouldn't panhandle anymore. I'm sure it's a hard habit to curb, though. 

In the past, I've talked at great length about the old men in the locker room at the gym and their disdain for clothes. This situation continues.

Shortly before Mardi Gras I was talking about the naked old men with my boss, who works out at the same gym. HIs pet peeve?

"I can't stand it when they sit down, naked, on the benches, with no towel between the bench and them. No towel, no nothing! And I know, I just know, that I'll end up putting my stuff down where their naked old asses have been."

Then, Glen and Shawn were in town for Mardi Gras. They work out at the same gym in Memphis, and the talk turned 'round to naked old guys in the locker room.

"You know what bugs me the most about them?" I asked.

"When they sit down naked on the benches!" Glen declared as Shawn nodded grimly.

See? It's a universal problem.

And one old man went above and beyond the bounds of mere nakedness the other day.

He was standing...no, leaning nonchalantly against a centrally located row of lockers - anyone coming or going in the locker room could not help but see this man.. So he's leaning on this locker, legs apart, facing the crowd, naked as a baby, and he's chatting on his cell phone! Chatting!

Come on! If you're going to get on the phone, put on a towel...or at the very least sit fucking down! I'm sorry, but acting like that isn't just normal locker room nudity; this is wanting other men to look at your genitals.

And this just isn't that kind of gym.